i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
