What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
