Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize