I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
