didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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