then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize