dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize