no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
