ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
