Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Houston, we have a blender
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
