i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
