yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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