Redeem this text for a blowjob
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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