I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
