is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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