so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
