Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
