I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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