when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
