Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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