I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
