yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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