That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
