He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
