my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
4 words: hood of his car
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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