Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
