You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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