I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
