Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize