Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize