i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
