I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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