He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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