I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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