I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
