did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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