Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
