the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize