I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
