so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
