Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
