i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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