Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
