they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize