When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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