I'm really into asian looking animals
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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