Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
