the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Come see our sink grown plant.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
