I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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