I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
