East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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