my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
