Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
