normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I want her autograph on my taint
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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