Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
