can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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