3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
