Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize