six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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