new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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