You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
