So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize