Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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