i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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