if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
