I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
