i don't plan on having that self control this summer
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
These tits shall not be calmed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize